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Your perspective is that of an adult. Have you forgotten how a or teen thinks? This is about what is best for the -' mental well being, not about fault. Their world is one of black and white and very little gray. The development of the frontal lobe is still going on so the repercussions can not be clearly or accurately assess and the assimilation of such knowledge can not be known. To say the least they are not equipped to handle so much pain of the only life they have known. You as an adult can the correlation of these two issues. The divorce is bad enough since this strikes at security needs in their minds and the fears they have of a future completely beyond their current comprehension. You as an adult can fall back on a time when you were not married. They don't have that advantage. Now on top of that you want to, for the sake of truth (his truth?) burden them with the thoughts of losing a parent out of some need to believe they must choose sides? Yes even if you say otherwise, hiding behind the idea of truth as your justification? This is not the time to tell them this when both parents as well of are going through emotional turmoil. No one can be thinking clearly in this situation at this time. They need to handle the fallout of the divorce first without complicating things even more and justifying this poorly thought out plan of telling "a" truth. Time enough later to bring it up if the circumstances for it. Once spoken, there is no taking it back. Damn Dax have you forgotten what it is like to be a? This also has nothing to do with whether the can or can not handle this much truth. It be hard enough on them let alone add another so ed truth. Even adults have their limit or there would not be post traumatic stress disorder. Oh one thing more, do you want to put the burden and responsibility on the 17 year old of the truth that they must now keep from their younger sibling? You are not clearly considering all the possibilities of how this play out by giving this truth, which is most likely not the full truth anyway.

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