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I was not happy and was incredibly lonely in the relationship. The relationship wasn't abusive or "that bad" to justify what in my mind I had convinced myself that I would be instantly poor if I left. Somedays I thought I was being ungrateful or not trying hard enough to make it work. This fear combined with the fact that I saw them as a great friend kept me convinced that "it wasn't that bad" and the years just snuck by me. I shut down the passionate side of me and existed in this stale place for over 17 years. What I hadn't factored in during those last 12 years of existing but not living was the changes in me that would occur when I left and started living true to myself. I wasn't poor for and my life today is much fuller in every aspect. Me and my ex are living true to ourselves, we are both very happy in our lives, passion and have taken the place of financial or material concerns, and the only regret I have is not choosing courage and authenticity sooner. Trust yourself. yourself enough to live your truth everybody is so much better off and real happiness is priceless!
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